Sting of Self-judgment!


At a group dinner, a friend made an offhand comment about my lack of appeal to opposite sex. It bothers me, partly because even in my depths of illusion and at the top of my anti-social behavior, I would NEVER have said such a thing to anyone. I don't recall ever being rude to this person. Why did I attract such a hurtful comment?


To better understand why you attracted this experience simply view it as a dream sequence in which all of the players were acting out aspects of your consciousness. Seen in that light, your friend merely served as an echo (like a ventriloquist's dummy) for what a part of you currently believes about yourself in relation to the opposite sex. Hence, your statement that you would "NEVER have said such a thing to anyone" is not accurate, in that most likely you regularly say similarly hurtful things to yourself (often at subconscious levels)!

Such painful, internal beliefs are usually the result of early programming. In your case, assume a parent or authority figure of the opposite sex was involved. Given that such programming had almost everything to do with their personal insecurities/needs and nothing to do with your essentially nature, it should not be taken to heart. The realization that you could have just as easily been programmed to believe (by someone with different issues) that you are God's gift to the opposite sex, drives this point home.

Because such beliefs have no solid foundation, they can ultimately be dismantled. In fact, just exposing them to the light of awareness will begin to break them down. To profoundly speed up the process, simply offer up the whole tangled mess to God (hurt feelings, judgments, confusion, etc.), humbly acknowledging it is far beyond your human ability to sort out or rectify.

In conjunction with this, resist the tendency to become numb, hardened or defensive regarding future negative remarks (whether they come from an outside source or just your own internal whisperings). Instead, strive to become impersonally sensitive - meaning you remain keenly aware, perceptive and open to hearing such comments, because they so perfectly help you pinpoint what next needs to be released into God's care.

At some point, you will clearly realize such illusory barbs cannot harm you - that they have no real life because you no longer believe in them. Once the thorny roots of such false lies are fully uprooted and cast aside, the resulting vacuum will be immediately filled with the soothing truth of your eternal lovability in God's eyes! Then you will be permanently free from the superficial assaults of this world as well as the sharp sting of self-judgment!

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