One by one, pretty much every support in my life has been pulled away. Although I have been seeking God for decades, I have been particularly devoted the last few years. I am willing to take responsibility for everything that occurs in my life, but I have no idea what I've done to create this situation. Can you help?
To create this situation, you have been noble, selfless, obedient, kind and truly loving. At a certain point, God just wants to see how well you perform without all of the props of your life (for they can obscure your true gains as well as rob you of much needed confidence). Hence, you have not failed in any respect; you are just encountering a God-given opportunity to rise to a much higher level of being and service.
If you successfully pass through this initiation, increased joy and great responsibility for God's work will be yours. If you fail, it's back to the drawing board for another round of training and practice.
Trust that such a process ultimately serves you. For unknowingly, you often behave like a small child that continues to rely on training wheels long after they serve. And because such supports no longer serve, they tend to hide the real and lasting gains you already embody. Exposing this truth (via removing such props for a while) will allow you to discover a depth and a solidness of confidence previously unknown. Such assurance will help you to enjoy the "ride of life" much more as well as enable you to accomplish significantly greater things in the world.
Ultimately, this divine initiation is not about proving anything to God. Instead, it is about proving and demonstrating something to yourself. God already knows you are essentially all wise, all powerful and all loving (given you are his progeny), he just wants you to more fully realize these same empowering and liberating truths about yourself!
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