My life feels heavy, burdensome and unproductive - as if constantly held down by some dark mysterious force or undertow. When will everything be easier and lighter? I want a better life, but I am losing faith out of sheer exhaustion and frustration. Where is God's helping hand in all of this?
As mentioned in last week's Wisdom message, the next few days leading up to the Spring Equinox are a particularly auspicious time for transformation. Powerful waves of Divine energy that have been steadily building all winter will reach the peak of their expression as the season shifts. Due to the strong purifying/releasing energy associated with this transition, anything you are still holding onto that no longer serves will feel like a giant millstone around your neck. This applies to your outer life, but even more profoundly to your inner existence.
Like a house undergoing a rigorous Spring-cleaning, the dusty corners of your consciousness (filled of old regrets and secret wishes) are being stirred up and swept about. Old wounds and deep fears (previously hidden away under lock and key) are also being brought out into the open with great intensity, in order to be seen and released.
The degree to which you resist such a process (by stubbornly clinging to the past), is the degree to which you will feel heavy and tired. That's because it takes tremendous energy to hold such things in place once they are ready to depart. Of course, any attempt to stuff them back into their previous corners or hiding places will cause you to feel particularly weighed down and depleted. Hence, the mysterious "undertow" you are constantly sensing is actually you - that part of your consciousness that does not want to let go and move forward.
Despite such inner opposition, do not judge yourself (that would only weigh you down further). Instead, realize that a certain amount of resistance is to be expected as a natural part of the clearing process. Such reticence can even be helpful in terms of smoothing the way - similar to occasionally tapping the breaks on a fast vehicle to stabilize the ride.
In relation to God's role in all of this, those strong energy waves of late have been his "helping hand" - a direct and Loving invitation for you to draw closer to his care. How you respond to such a request is entirely up to you. No one can make the decision for you or do the inner work involved. In the meantime, trust that all of creation stands poised to lift you higher (and therefore closer to God and the life you truly desire) the moment you stretch out your hand in response!
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