The Nightmare of Separation


Although I manage to put one foot in front of the other every day, my life seems pointless. My heart feels heavy, my stomach aches all the time and my brain barely works. Even just the effort it takes to maintain a human body (eat food, brush teeth, sleep regularly, etc.) seems beyond me at times. Pretending my life (or anyone else's) has meaning is growing increasingly difficult. How am I supposed to move forward into joy and freedom in such a state? It feels like I am going in the opposite direction.


In opening up to such agony you have entered the sweet spot of divine transformation. Hence, I encourage you stay exactly where you are; just settle down even more deeply into the experience to truly move forward. Unknowingly, you are sitting just one thin layer above the most excruciating pain you have ever experienced in human manifestation. Such anguish has been obscured for ages by layer upon layer of seemingly protective illusion.

The core source of such pain is (perceived) separation from your Divine Nature. As such, the deepest longing in every human heart (whether it is consciously recognized or not) is the desire to heal that schism - to return to union or wholeness. But until one is willing to risk stripping away all the layers of "protective" illusion surrounding such pain and nakedly expose the aching desire within, it simply will not occur.

That's because the level of desire you are currently focused on (via yearnings, dreams, efforts, hopes, fears, judgments, etc.), is also what you are constantly praying for. Given that all prayers are perfectly answered (due to our status as divine co-creators), everyone is receiving exactly what they are willing or ready to hold in consciousness. Holding small, tentative, superficial desires yields small, tentative, superficial results. Whereas holding big, pure, deep desires yields the same in kind. The biggest, purest, deepest desire any being can hold in this realm is the desire for Oneness.

Most every seeker on a spiritual path assumes they currently desire such Oneness (and the freedom it brings). Yet if you were to look directly into their hearts to see what level of desire was most pressing, in almost all cases it would be to have their illusion fixed - to have a better or more ideal dream vs. waking up to enlightened reality. Until one fully acknowledges that every human-centered dream is actually a nightmare, has always been a nightmare and will always be one, the motivation (and therefore the necessary longing for something more) simply cannot arise.

Hence, be willing to fully experience the nightmare of human separation (yours and everyone else's), while also allowing the deep desire for Oneness to emerge. It is the opportunity of ages. The more such yearning within is exposed to the light of awareness, the more it is like a pure prayer or clear invitation to have it met. When there is nothing clouding, covering up or competing with the ultimate desires of one's heart, that is when miracles happen!

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